Nothing to Hide

My mom always told me, "if you're not doing anything bad then you have nothing to hide." Recently, I've been heavily convicted of this, so much so that I indeed heard my mom's voice in my head. Without deterring into the situation, I want to continue with what I brought up in the last post, the another value seeing in cultures about the tensions regarding vulnerability, whether or not to expose vulnerability or conceal vulnerability. By vulnerability, I mean weaknesses, flaws, mistakes, etc.


Clearly, I didn't state anything about the situation and thereby concealing it, but it makes me wonder: which is best? What's the difference between being transparent and being vulnerable? Is there a difference? What does it say about my integrity?


I understand that this is America; there's freedom of speech; we can say what we want and do what we want. While everything is permissible not everything is ideal, so where do we draw the line? How much should we really reveal about ourselves online? My dad told me that, according to some studies, many of the kids in this generation are going to have to change their names in order to get jobs because of the amount of things that future employers can find out about them through their social network accounts. It's sad and probable reality, at least to me. So it makes me wonder about the things I'm putting in this blog. How can I share my thoughts without revealing my life? 


I have yet to come up with a satisfactory answer for that one. But to answer at least one of the questions I've posed: transparency and vulnerability are different. To be transparent, is simply to have no fronts, no walls. Your life is inside a greenhouse and everything that goes on in it is visible. To be vulnerable is to be more than transparent, not only can everyone see your life, but they can prod at it. You are risking something.


If you' weren't wondering already, you're probably thinking now "so what?" My brother tells me that I go into many rabbit trails in this blog, but please bear with me I find it these side notes somewhat crucial to understanding my logic and, in general, just understanding me. Anyways, I'm struggling to embrace either one of the two values. I, for the most part (I say this because in my life there are always exceptions), don't mind exposing my weaknesses. But the problem with having your life on blast and open to the public is that people will walk all over you and use your openness against you. On the other hand, if I were to simply conceal my weaknesses no one could truly get to know me as a whole person with flaws and all.


So I wonder, how much can I really say? What am I compromising? I want to be completely honest. My biggest pet peeve is lying. For one, I am a terrible liar. Secondly, I am very gullible. But most importantly, even if I weren't those two, what's the point of lying? If you're not doing anything wrong why hide it? If you want to be a holistic person, the integral and the complete to integrity, why can't you just put flaws out there? Why must you be so careful? 


I wish people didn't take advantage of others then this wouldn't be a problem. I wish that could be so. Yes, there will still be fear of rejection, but you wouldn't have to worry about others trying to use that against you. But that's why we have feelings and we're human and life just is. I just want to be able to be completely open and honest and sincere with you, but, I guess, prudence refuses to let me do so. And it makes me sad.


But on a bright note: I am reminded once again that in these values there is neither right or wrong, it is merely a continuum. And even if there was a right and wrong, I can be comforted by the fact that I know my intentions aren't to blame. When and if I conceal my vulnerability, I am being prudent and waiting for the right time to expose then like my momma taught me; and when I expose my vulnerability, I am being open and humble (humble only if I don't do it for the express purpose of being humble because then that truly isn't humility). 


One thing I know for sure and one thing I will not be swayed from. In this world and modern era of relative truth there is one ultimate and absolute capital t Truth. We've heard the saying "the truth shall set you free" right? I just recently heard about a different look on this saying. Read it in its entirety and then you will understand what it truly means. "Then you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." "Then" implies a conditional statement which is (Jesus speaking) "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples." Oh how I wish we could all understand that. The truth, which isn't just what is true, isn't just what is true for you or for me, it isn't what makes sense and is logical or what is experiential and you have to live it. It's something bigger than that, it's bigger than life. The truth, the truth can be found if you not only understand the teaching but if you apply it and live it. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free and you'll have nothing to hide.