I think I began to realize in middle school what friends were all about, thinking then, again, that those were going to be going to be my friends forever. Once again, I was wrong. I transferred to a private school were I finally thought this is were I'm going to graduate from and these were going to be my friends forever. Fortunately, I was only halfway wrong. I went for the next two and a half years and finally finished high school at the same school all my siblings graduated from.
I'm sorry if this story seems pointless. I swear there is a point. I have recently realized that I employ a circular method of communication. Basically, I fill you in on the context of the situation before I even mention what I came for from the beginning. Some may call it beating around the bush, but I wouldn't consider it so. It's very common in my culture, which is something I will divulge in another posts.
So back to the story. The other day, I was talking with a friend from high school and she said something that made me happy. When we graduated high school, I had the privilege to give one of the speeches, and I said something that I got from my very best friend and simply felt like I needed to share. It went a little like: God places people in your life sometimes for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Simple, yet profound.
I know people that are tend to become resentful about failed friendships and relationships to the point where bitterness becomes a character quality for them. It makes me sad because if they only realized that simple little phrase they could move on.
Think about all the people you encounter on a regular basis. How many do actually foster a relationship with? Rephrase: how many of your Facebook friends are you actually friends with? Most of those people are only briefly in your life, and guess what? It's cool. No worries. They had their reason for crossing your path. Neither one of you may know or realize what that reason is at the moment but eventually, if you chose to reflect on it, you'll see how you needed them for that exact moment and God provided them. It may have been that stranger that smiled your way in a crowd when you were having the poopiest day, and right there they fulfilled their purpose in your life.
This next category is probably the one that, in my opinion, most people get stuck on. Just like there are seasons in the year, that each have their purpose in succeeding one another, people have their season in your life. The other day someone was real upset and began to tell me that their best friend had passed away recently. I am very grateful, that this particular situation has not occurred to me, but when this person kept on talking i noticed they were stuck. They couldn't move past the fact that their friend was gone.
This is a slightly extreme case but it can be related to most of us in its essence. Those elementary friends had their season in my life. They were there for me and I was there for them so we could have fun and be kids. I've yet to figure out what my middle school friends where there for, but middle school is just awkward altogether so I figure they fulfilled their purpose in my life too, though some of them crossed my path again in high school. Those private school friends I want to say are here for a lifetime because through time distance and all sorts of constraints I found my best friend out of that bunch. And those high school people, shoot, they definitely had their purpose. They showed me things I wanted to be and things I definitely didn't want to be. They taught me sincerity and dishonesty. They showed me how to weed out what kind of people are true friends and which I just shouldn't deal with. But you know what I'm glad they did. And yeah I made mistakes, I could have done things differently, I could have shown my friends this true love that overflows from me, but even God is using that to help me grow.
For a long time, I was bitter and shut people out of my life. I had experienced what I thought was betrayal, betrayal of my trust anyways. Right one after another, two people I thought were my best friends, the only people I chose to tell my life to (things I didn't even share with my sister, and if you know me you know that's serious), stopped talking to me for no apparent reason. I'm not a fighter, I'm quite passive so I decided I was still going to be nice to people and listen to them, but I would not let them into my thoughts and feelings. I was going to be people's friends but I'm not sure anyone was actually going to be my friend. But now I can look back and be thankful for the place those people had in my life. It was crucial at the time and yes their departure was abrupt but it was needed. It was just for a season.
People are in your life for all sorts of reasons, maybe you already know why, probably you don't but let me quote Bob Marley on this one: take it easy take it slow. Everything under the sun has its purpose and its time. That includes people and relationships. Work at your relationships but if things don't turn out as you hope, know that there is a reason and we have a hope that there is a far greater purpose. Maybe you learned something from this person that you can use in your next relationship, not just romantic ones may I add. Remember relationship equals time and giving your time equals love. God is love :)
"No one can see the seeds of friendship but the grow into something beautiful." -Winnie the Pooh
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